Ugh, all of this hits so hard. I’m trying to approach it in more of a light hearted and fun way, but I’ve become so protective of my time I tend to think meeting for dates will just be a waste of time and call it all
Shaun, this has nothing to do with dating since I already posted my thoughts to you about asking you on a date but about Fathers Day. I wanted to wish you a day to rejoice in your time with your dad since you’ve written about him with such deep feelings of love, emotion and conflict at times. He was so much a part of the extraordinary man you are and today is a lovely day to celebrate him xxxxxx.
I agree with all you have said, Shaun: the exhaustion and expense of both work and life bleeding over into our dating life. And the idea that sits in the back (maybe forefront?) of our brains: there is someone better out there.
The loss of social skills. Eesh. They were already tanking before the pandemic but since then it has gotten so much worse.
I think most everyone has built armor around their heart. I think it is better and more honest to go into a relationship *knowing* we are going to get hurt. Love is like adopting a dog-at some point the dog is going to die-and probably chew up something you love-but most of us go ahead and adopt anyway. I know a romantic relationship is not the same...but...I wish we could accept some pain as a price of all love-all relationships will hurt. We are human, we will hurt each other.
I do think a crucial piece of why modern dating is particularly hard is the growing chasm between hetero men and women that is amplified by current politics and lit on fire by social media.Some of it is legit: A lot of women are liberal. A lot of men are not. I have dated conservative men-largely out of necessity from the dating pool of my geographical location-but it has gotten much much harder.
I am OK with dating a conservative man, but I am not OK with dating a misogynist man, and sadly, the men are showing their disrespect for women-and what feels like dislike (or even sometimes hate for)- more often and more brazenly.
I am taking a break from dating, mainly for my own healing. I do not know if I will go back to using apps though. I agree with you in that they are not the problem, but a tool.
I hope meeting IRL will become more common again. I have been asked out a few times in real life-mostly at my library job. While the men were not for me, either due to my already being in a relationship or an inappropriateness because of my job, I SO appreciated their speaking up, being brave and opening their hearts. <3
I love this. I am in the given up stage. My last phase of eharmony dating ended with these dates: 1) took me to eat but he ate before then rushed me and insisted he come back to my apartment after
I feel the same way, I've given up as well. I'd rather manifest my soulmate I think and spend less time working through all the not so good men. I'd rather wait
Ugh, all of this hits so hard. I’m trying to approach it in more of a light hearted and fun way, but I’ve become so protective of my time I tend to think meeting for dates will just be a waste of time and call it all
off…
Shaun, this has nothing to do with dating since I already posted my thoughts to you about asking you on a date but about Fathers Day. I wanted to wish you a day to rejoice in your time with your dad since you’ve written about him with such deep feelings of love, emotion and conflict at times. He was so much a part of the extraordinary man you are and today is a lovely day to celebrate him xxxxxx.
I agree with all you have said, Shaun: the exhaustion and expense of both work and life bleeding over into our dating life. And the idea that sits in the back (maybe forefront?) of our brains: there is someone better out there.
The loss of social skills. Eesh. They were already tanking before the pandemic but since then it has gotten so much worse.
I think most everyone has built armor around their heart. I think it is better and more honest to go into a relationship *knowing* we are going to get hurt. Love is like adopting a dog-at some point the dog is going to die-and probably chew up something you love-but most of us go ahead and adopt anyway. I know a romantic relationship is not the same...but...I wish we could accept some pain as a price of all love-all relationships will hurt. We are human, we will hurt each other.
I do think a crucial piece of why modern dating is particularly hard is the growing chasm between hetero men and women that is amplified by current politics and lit on fire by social media.Some of it is legit: A lot of women are liberal. A lot of men are not. I have dated conservative men-largely out of necessity from the dating pool of my geographical location-but it has gotten much much harder.
I am OK with dating a conservative man, but I am not OK with dating a misogynist man, and sadly, the men are showing their disrespect for women-and what feels like dislike (or even sometimes hate for)- more often and more brazenly.
I am taking a break from dating, mainly for my own healing. I do not know if I will go back to using apps though. I agree with you in that they are not the problem, but a tool.
I hope meeting IRL will become more common again. I have been asked out a few times in real life-mostly at my library job. While the men were not for me, either due to my already being in a relationship or an inappropriateness because of my job, I SO appreciated their speaking up, being brave and opening their hearts. <3
I love this. I am in the given up stage. My last phase of eharmony dating ended with these dates: 1) took me to eat but he ate before then rushed me and insisted he come back to my apartment after
UGH. I did so much screening from apps, I thought, and still met a lot of not good men.
I feel the same way, I've given up as well. I'd rather manifest my soulmate I think and spend less time working through all the not so good men. I'd rather wait