I am very pleased to be among the "tiny sliver" of straight men who follow Sean (#sliver) I grew up in a household of all women (sisters, mothers, grandmothers) and that brought struggles with masculinity. In the end, I decided I wanted to be good, kind, compassionate, romantic, passionate, and perhaps striving to do each of those well I will stumble upon being a man. Great read, and insights, and topic. (Can we get shirts for the sliver's?)
I completely agree with The Times. You are no “ imposter “ , Shaun. You are open and and real and people feel safe telling you things, because you engender trust. Combined with you being such a dude , and “ manly” - well , if that’s not “ masculinity” , I don't know what is. You also continue to help me get in touch with my own masculinity at this late date , and for that , I thank you.
What makes a great man is ever evolving. But a great man is like a great sandwich. The soft, sturdy bread to hold it all together. The meat of your choice - to your liking. An array of fixings to add flavor and get you relishing in the excitement of finding that amazing explosion of senses. The trust, humor, strength, vulnerability....it all plays a part of the bigger sandwich. And when you experience an amazing sandwich, you tell everyone about you can't wait to have it again
As I read this post, I thought about what about a man says “masculine” to me. I realized it’s not as much about their physical attributes sometimes as much as it is about quiet confidence in who they are. When I’m around a guy who is posturing, boastful, and being disrespectful to others, I see that as someone who is insecure in their masculinity. I think what makes you a great example of healthy masculinity is that you are respectful and confident in who you are, even if it doesn’t fit a stereotype of manliness.
Sean, as a longtime follower (though I've been off IG for almost two years, your advice was SO helpful for many), I certainly wish more straight men followed your content. I've been in men's work for a decade and lead men's groups, and much of what I share when relationships come up, I learned from listening to you (and my own experiences). To this day, I repeat your line that heartbreak is the buy-in for love almost every week - and I always give you credit.
I'm glad to see you on this list AND imagine that your reaction to being on this list is exactly why you are a role model for what it means to be a man today. Thank you for being you, for inspiring me, and for being a resource when I was struggling with dating.
Love this essay and the conversation here. Michael Kimmel talks about the disorientation that many young men are feeling in grappling what it means to be a "good man" vs. a "real man". To your point, culturally, we need to get out of our way with making certain qualities so gendered, stop penalizing people for straying from gender norms, and normalize men being comfortable embodying the type of qualities you mention like vulnerability, choosing curiosity, respecting boundaries, and so on.
Such important conversations you're stoking here. Well deserved getting on the list in The Times!
I am very pleased to be among the "tiny sliver" of straight men who follow Sean (#sliver) I grew up in a household of all women (sisters, mothers, grandmothers) and that brought struggles with masculinity. In the end, I decided I wanted to be good, kind, compassionate, romantic, passionate, and perhaps striving to do each of those well I will stumble upon being a man. Great read, and insights, and topic. (Can we get shirts for the sliver's?)
Glad you're here, Brodie! We're working on a shirt that says "Strong enough to be soft," which might be a good fit.
I completely agree with The Times. You are no “ imposter “ , Shaun. You are open and and real and people feel safe telling you things, because you engender trust. Combined with you being such a dude , and “ manly” - well , if that’s not “ masculinity” , I don't know what is. You also continue to help me get in touch with my own masculinity at this late date , and for that , I thank you.
What makes a great man is ever evolving. But a great man is like a great sandwich. The soft, sturdy bread to hold it all together. The meat of your choice - to your liking. An array of fixings to add flavor and get you relishing in the excitement of finding that amazing explosion of senses. The trust, humor, strength, vulnerability....it all plays a part of the bigger sandwich. And when you experience an amazing sandwich, you tell everyone about you can't wait to have it again
💕💕💕
I loved this piece, thank you for writing it.
As I read this post, I thought about what about a man says “masculine” to me. I realized it’s not as much about their physical attributes sometimes as much as it is about quiet confidence in who they are. When I’m around a guy who is posturing, boastful, and being disrespectful to others, I see that as someone who is insecure in their masculinity. I think what makes you a great example of healthy masculinity is that you are respectful and confident in who you are, even if it doesn’t fit a stereotype of manliness.
I love this, thank you! 🙏
Great piece! Thank you for being vulnerable on the internet & with us. and totally agree with the Times.
Sean, as a longtime follower (though I've been off IG for almost two years, your advice was SO helpful for many), I certainly wish more straight men followed your content. I've been in men's work for a decade and lead men's groups, and much of what I share when relationships come up, I learned from listening to you (and my own experiences). To this day, I repeat your line that heartbreak is the buy-in for love almost every week - and I always give you credit.
I'm glad to see you on this list AND imagine that your reaction to being on this list is exactly why you are a role model for what it means to be a man today. Thank you for being you, for inspiring me, and for being a resource when I was struggling with dating.
Here's to being good humans... and thus good men.
Love this essay and the conversation here. Michael Kimmel talks about the disorientation that many young men are feeling in grappling what it means to be a "good man" vs. a "real man". To your point, culturally, we need to get out of our way with making certain qualities so gendered, stop penalizing people for straying from gender norms, and normalize men being comfortable embodying the type of qualities you mention like vulnerability, choosing curiosity, respecting boundaries, and so on.
Such important conversations you're stoking here. Well deserved getting on the list in The Times!