Hmmmmmm…the conversation to encourage men to do the work, heal the wounded boy - educate me. To recognise they have wounded inner child work to do. How women move with a motivation to evolve and heal and men appear to start, well, regress- especially around the age 50. What’s in it for women when men can not see they need to grow up? Do men see the Peter Pan in themselves or just women? That’s my two bins worth Shaunie! With love and light .
Oh, 200 percent this. I have been single and dating-sober for 5 years-all straight white men over 40. Let me preface this comment with: I LOVE men. I love sex with men. And I am TIRED of getting into relationships with men who are just like, "This is who I am. I know I am kind of an ass. Oh well, like it or leave it." Well, I just broke off my fourth relationship in four years with men like this because, guess what? I choose to LEAVE it. I see women over 40 doing The Work. We go to the gym, we do yoga, we go to therapy, we re-invent ourselves and we are curious around what we can bring to a relationship and what we can improve. But the men I have dated (and the one I was married to) DO NOT want to own anything, are not curious, are not doing ANY work. I know it is not all men, but, based on my own years of dating (I also poly dated while married), my marriage, and a lot of women I talk with and hear from in large communities of women, it is A LOT of men. So, yes, PLEASE-if you could crack the door open for men to get curious around doing their own work, that is something that I think our entire culture is in dire need of. That said, I know one podcast can't fix a generation or more of men who have been told to squash their emotions; that therapy is for the weak; who were and sadly, so sadly, are still being brainwashed around what defines masculinity. THANK YOU for this offering and question, Shaun.
Hi, Shaun. Perhaps some deeper dives into how to approach dating with less attachment? I feel like that's a topic that comes up often, but sharing my own experience, I spent almost exactly half my life with one person, and now I'm single and ready to mingle, and quite literally do not know what I'm doing.
If you do this please discuss how men (typically straight cis-het) can do this tactfully by treating their lovers like human beings with feelings and needs. So many men pursue casual sex without thinking that actual relationships are formed even if they aren't committed and/or monogamous.
I really want to know how I can get your social media assistant job?? Or any job helping you so I can learn from the best! Seriously, I love your content. It makes me laugh, think, cry sometimes. It’s wonderful and has helped me be ok with being single in my 50s, but also still hopeful that I’ll find my person.
I would love more discussion on dating. It seems there are a lot of styles and preferences for ideal dates, but maybe some general guidelines would be helpful. I’m intimidated to sit down with a stranger and talk about…?
1) Gay male sexual issues: dick size insecurity (it takes on a whole new level in the gay community), navigating anal sex in all its various forms, monogamy vs. non
2) Gay male dating: While the pitfalls of dating (how to flirt? how to not be friend zoned? how to display interest?) on the surface are similar between gay and straight people, the gay male world (and presumably, the lesbian world) has very, very different applications. Aging and dating/finding partnership with gays is also a unique - and challenging - thing.
OK, thanks, that's helpful. But also, I'm not gay, so wouldn't this be better written by someone who has the lived experience? No shade, just curious if you're wanting more gay-centered content from a straightish dude?
I think a special episode of the podcast would be nice, perhaps talking to someone. Your most female audience might see struggles they have in a different light.
Since you asked, I have a question: do you think once you get the ick factor with someone, that can be overcome? I had a couple dates with a guy that I really enjoyed, but then with his first kiss, he stuck his tongue down my throat. I told him less tongue, but I couldn't get past it and made him go home. I really wanted to start something with him, but how he kissed was a turnoff.
On a different note, you could discuss attachment styles. Can they be healed? Or different types of therapy and what has worked for you? Would you consider doing psychedelic or ketamine therapy?
Hmmmmmm…the conversation to encourage men to do the work, heal the wounded boy - educate me. To recognise they have wounded inner child work to do. How women move with a motivation to evolve and heal and men appear to start, well, regress- especially around the age 50. What’s in it for women when men can not see they need to grow up? Do men see the Peter Pan in themselves or just women? That’s my two bins worth Shaunie! With love and light .
Oh, 200 percent this. I have been single and dating-sober for 5 years-all straight white men over 40. Let me preface this comment with: I LOVE men. I love sex with men. And I am TIRED of getting into relationships with men who are just like, "This is who I am. I know I am kind of an ass. Oh well, like it or leave it." Well, I just broke off my fourth relationship in four years with men like this because, guess what? I choose to LEAVE it. I see women over 40 doing The Work. We go to the gym, we do yoga, we go to therapy, we re-invent ourselves and we are curious around what we can bring to a relationship and what we can improve. But the men I have dated (and the one I was married to) DO NOT want to own anything, are not curious, are not doing ANY work. I know it is not all men, but, based on my own years of dating (I also poly dated while married), my marriage, and a lot of women I talk with and hear from in large communities of women, it is A LOT of men. So, yes, PLEASE-if you could crack the door open for men to get curious around doing their own work, that is something that I think our entire culture is in dire need of. That said, I know one podcast can't fix a generation or more of men who have been told to squash their emotions; that therapy is for the weak; who were and sadly, so sadly, are still being brainwashed around what defines masculinity. THANK YOU for this offering and question, Shaun.
Hi Shaun, thanks for always showing up. You are a radiant light even when you feel you are in a moody low mojo mindset. Love your work consistently.
Solo ENM/poly - navigating dating and relationships; couples privilege and hierarchy in dating (from the solo’s perspective)
Hi, Shaun. Perhaps some deeper dives into how to approach dating with less attachment? I feel like that's a topic that comes up often, but sharing my own experience, I spent almost exactly half my life with one person, and now I'm single and ready to mingle, and quite literally do not know what I'm doing.
If you do this please discuss how men (typically straight cis-het) can do this tactfully by treating their lovers like human beings with feelings and needs. So many men pursue casual sex without thinking that actual relationships are formed even if they aren't committed and/or monogamous.
I really want to know how I can get your social media assistant job?? Or any job helping you so I can learn from the best! Seriously, I love your content. It makes me laugh, think, cry sometimes. It’s wonderful and has helped me be ok with being single in my 50s, but also still hopeful that I’ll find my person.
Did you apply?!
I would love more discussion on dating. It seems there are a lot of styles and preferences for ideal dates, but maybe some general guidelines would be helpful. I’m intimidated to sit down with a stranger and talk about…?
More stuff for gay people.
What specifically would be helpful?
1) Gay male sexual issues: dick size insecurity (it takes on a whole new level in the gay community), navigating anal sex in all its various forms, monogamy vs. non
2) Gay male dating: While the pitfalls of dating (how to flirt? how to not be friend zoned? how to display interest?) on the surface are similar between gay and straight people, the gay male world (and presumably, the lesbian world) has very, very different applications. Aging and dating/finding partnership with gays is also a unique - and challenging - thing.
OK, thanks, that's helpful. But also, I'm not gay, so wouldn't this be better written by someone who has the lived experience? No shade, just curious if you're wanting more gay-centered content from a straightish dude?
I think a special episode of the podcast would be nice, perhaps talking to someone. Your most female audience might see struggles they have in a different light.
Oh, for the podcast! Yes, of course, that's a great suggestion. Thank you! I was thinking about my writing on Substack—my apologies!
Since you asked, I have a question: do you think once you get the ick factor with someone, that can be overcome? I had a couple dates with a guy that I really enjoyed, but then with his first kiss, he stuck his tongue down my throat. I told him less tongue, but I couldn't get past it and made him go home. I really wanted to start something with him, but how he kissed was a turnoff.
On a different note, you could discuss attachment styles. Can they be healed? Or different types of therapy and what has worked for you? Would you consider doing psychedelic or ketamine therapy?
Love the show, it always makes me laugh.