Ten things I look for in a partner

AKA ten things I want to love about you

People often ask me what I look for in a partner, so I put this list together in no particular order.

Some of these are cliched as fuck, but what are you gonna do? We're more alike than we want to admit.

One. A sense of humor.

So, either you're funny or laugh at my jokes—ideally, both. I want to laugh a lot. I want laughter and making jokes to be how we spend time together. Making you laugh will make me laugh, which is excellent, and while I've always been the funny one in the relationship, it would be nice for you to make me laugh, too.

Two. Presence.

I need to feel you present, engaged, and available—not all the time, but most of the time. We all need downtime and time to check out now and then, but I want you to track me as much as I do. Let's be aware and attuned to the space we share. Whether we're playing cards, having sex, or making dinner together, we're present to ourselves and each other.

Three. Sex kitten.

You love sex. You have a healthy appetite and respect for sex and how much intimacy it can bring to your life. You see and understand sex as nurturing, healing, and vital to a healthy life and partnership. You're open to trying anything twice and reserve judgment about what other people like and don't like. You're able to talk about sex, your desires, and what it takes to get you off. You're not shy; even when you are, you're still open. You’re as happy to have a bathroom quickie as you are a nightlong tantric experience. When it comes to sex, you have range.

Four. Confidence.

You don't give a fuck what others think about you, or at the very least, you try not to care.