A funny eulogy to my great father

Remembering my father, a mentor to many, and a legendary dude. Thank you for showing me how to live well.

When I think of giving a eulogy to my dad, I think of Roman Roy in Succession talking about how he pre-grieved his father's death and would be OK giving the eulogy without breaking down. Spoiler alert: He very much broke down spectacularly, sobbing uncontrollably, as he asked if his father was in the casket and if he could be removed from it. It's a brilliant piece of acting and a fantastic show.

My father passed in June of 2023, but we didn't hold a funeral until October of that year, some four months later. My mother wanted time to grieve and wasn't ready to see anyone or plan anything for months. I'm not sure why, as a society, we rush through the funeral process, often holding them days after someone dies. What's the hurry? Maybe it has something to do with getting on with life and getting over the pain of losing a loved one as quickly as possible.

Or maybe it's more pragmatic than that. There might be a rush to bury the dead to avoid keeping the body on ice for months. Sounds expensive. My father was cremated, so we didn't have to worry about that.

We're not great at dealing with grief in the United States. We don't make space for it. In the West, we tend to focus on the positives, ensuring people are good, OK, and happy. Even though we're the farthest thing from. As a whole, we are not good, OK, and happy. If we were, we wouldn't be drugged to the gills on anti-depressants or self-medicating with drugs and alcohol. Or, in my case, ice cream, coffee, and nicotine.

My dad wasn't religious, but we held his funeral at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco. He loved that church and was involved in beautifying the neighborhood when he lived on Nob Hill. The service was very churchy but seemed to honor him in a lovely way. Lots of hymns that were impossible to understand, a Mary Oliver poem read by my nephew, and a eulogy from me and my brother. We were in and out in 45 minutes. Short, sweet, and to the point, just like Dad would have liked. 

We think he would have liked that, but in hindsight, I have no idea because that wasn't one of the things we spoke about before he died. We also neglected to get the password to his computer, which, in hindsight, was a major faux pas!

My dad was a deeply funny guy who loved to laugh, so I think he wanted his funeral to be a joyous affair. To ensure that happened, I sprinkled jokes throughout the eulogy because why not? And, by the way, people attending a funeral are a tough crowd!

Here's the eulogy I gave at my father's funeral, with jokes and all.

Eulogy of a legend

I first met Greg on September 12th, 1982, in a Montreal hospital delivery room. I don't much remember the day, but I'm told it was one of the best days of his life.